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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28685907">Everything Worth Living For Is There, In His Eyes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassidy_OMalley/pseuds/Cassidy_OMalley'>Cassidy_OMalley</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Final Fantasy XV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Confessions, Episode Ignis Verse 2, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, New Year's Eve, Oblivious Ignis Scientia, Pining, and more pining, brief mention of Gladio/Holly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:02:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,259</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28685907</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassidy_OMalley/pseuds/Cassidy_OMalley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Still not going to ask me who it is?”</p><p>           No, Ignis does not desire this person’s name. He does not want to know who has captured his king’s attention. He does not wish to think of the person who will take his place at the small four person supper table in his king’s chambers. He does not want to imagine another person staying late in Noct’s bedroom, chasing away the nightmares Ignis has been battling since the marilith attack all those years ago. He does not want to ask about the person who will ultimately take Noct away from him. It does not matter how many times he tells himself that you cannot lose what was never yours to begin with. Or that Noctis was always meant for greater things, greater people, than him. That to even entertain the mere thought of holding Noct, kissing him, loving him is delusional in the extreme. It does not change the fact that even thinking about this nameless person causes an exquisite feeling of loss that threatens to swallow him whole.</p><p>****</p><p>Ignis should remember that a new year brings not only new beginnings but surprises as well.</p><p>Part of the Ignoct New Year gift exchange. Full of fluff, confessions, and one very oblivious man.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Noctis Lucis Caelum/Ignis Scientia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>116</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Ignoct New Years Gift Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Everything Worth Living For Is There, In His Eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xeiana/gifts">Xeiana</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For @Xeiana on Twitter</p><p>Based on the prompt: A confession during new year's when the Insomnia version of the 'ball' being dropped happens</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>If I'm wise, I will walk away, and gladly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, sadly, I'm not wise,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's hard to talk away the memories that you prize.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Love is worth forgiving for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now I realize everything worth living for is there, in his eyes. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ah, yet another Creation Day on your own. What does that make now, six? Seven?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Keep walking. Don’t encourage him. Don’t dignify him with a response. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know your beloved prince is too busy communing inside his Crystal but I’d thought you’d at least be celebrating the holiday with your other little friends.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is that merely a taunt or is he probing for information? He must have some idea by now. He’s too clever not to. Could he be trying to gleam the others’ current locations?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“But then again, you are quite the forgettable one, aren’t you?” Maybe it’s the centuries spent in solitude but Ardyn always seems to thoroughly enjoy the sound of his own voice. “Forgotten by the Astrals, who should be after you for the life you forfeited for power. Forgotten by your prince, who left you behind looking like death warmed over. Even forgotten by your comrades who celebrate this glorious holiday without you.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The smartest thing to do would be to ignore him completely, but the need to see Ardyn defeated, even in a mere battle of wits, still hasn’t vanished these seven years later. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span> “For someone so forgettable, you seem to remember to go out of your way to grace me with your presence often enough. Should I take that as some sort of compliment or are you that desperate for intelligent conversation?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ardyn makes a pleased sound, obviously finding success in the engagement. “Even immortals can enjoy the useless scramblings of primitive beings. Because that is what your efforts are, you know. Useless.” He pushes himself off of the crumbled wall of the Old Lestallum outpost he was theatrically braced against to keep pace. “Even if by some miracle you happen to succeed—you won’t of course but for the sake of fantasy let’s say you do—what do you think will happen? Noctis will ascend to the throne, unite whatever is left of this sorry Star together, and then what? Realize he’s been in love with you this whole time? After all, who was the Oracle herself or every Lucian nobleman’s spawn compared to you: a smothering, selfish boy that everyone forgets the existence of?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s a low blow but Ardyn has been holding a grudge since the events at Zegnautus Keep. “When you said you were delving into the realm of fantasy, I didn’t know you meant cheap outpost romance novels.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Fantasy, parody, comedy whatever you wish to call it.” Ardyn waves a dismissive hand. “Noctis will always be out of your reach, dear boy, even as you stand dutifully by his side. Your devotion will always be forgotten as he looks to those more important than you.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Do you think I don’t know? I do know. I’ve always known. One way or another I’m always going to—</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>      Ignis’s head snaps up so fast he swears he can feel every vertebrae in his neck vibrate with the force of it. It’s more than a little disorienting and does nothing for the tension headache building behind his eyes. To be fair to himself, he hasn’t gotten more than four hours of consecutive sleep in the past week so it’s only natural that his body has finally decided to rebel against him. But Ignis has never been one to be fair to himself, so he merely straightens the files his comatose state had scattered and makes to finish all remaining paperwork before he leaves to get ready for the Creation Day festivities. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>       Creation Day is a holiday proposed some many decades ago by Lucis’s 50th monarch as a way to </span>
  <em>
    <span>start every new year with art, music, and color.</span>
  </em>
  <span> And as it is only right that the king lead by example, why should the palace not host an annual ball for not only all the nobles but all those who staffed the palace as well? As a way to bring those of different statuses together as a sign that everyone came from the same Star? Well known to all as Lucis’s most </span>
  <em>
    <span>charming</span>
  </em>
  <span> monarch, most historians believe The Clever initially suggested the idea as merely an excuse to allow him to put on his best and flirt with as many beautiful women as possible on a routine basis. In any case, the tradition had stuck and now every new year the entirety of Lucis—from the streets, to the palace, to people of all social and economic groups—dresses up in their finest to celebrate the new year in the most colorful and most gaudy way they are able. And if that wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>colorful</span>
  </em>
  <span> enough, in the more recent years the crown had added one final touch; something to collectively signify the new year bursting into life: a gigantic fireworks display that, rumors stated, could be seen from anywhere in Insomnia. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>         Although it would be wrong to say Ignis disliked the tradition in general, this year he was decidedly not looking forward to it. This year, the recently installed Council had decided, not only would the night be again finished by fireworks for the first time since the fall of Insomnia, but also by the king’s announcement of his intention to court. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s time</span>
  </em>
  <span>, they all say. The Day of the Dawn was over two years ago now, reconstruction of the palace has been completed and relationships across the lands of Eos have never been better. Besides, they point out innocently, at thirty-two years old Noctis is no longer young and for the line to continue an heir will need to be produced at some point. And </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>is where Ignis put his foot down. Had not Noctis sacrificed enough? He’d lost family, friends, even his very childhood all in the name of royalty. He’d had ten years of his life stolen from him only to return with the full intention of being the gods’ sacrificial lamb all in the name of duty. Could Noctis not have one thing that was his to control? The choice had been taken from his hands before but Ignis was not going to stand for that a second time. So he planned his defense, readied his arguments, did his best to prepare for all possible responses that would follow Noctis’s refusal. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Trust Noct to throw a curved blitzball his way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p><em><span>Yes. I think you’re right.</span></em><span> Agreement: that was the one thing Ignis hadn’t planned on. And not just agreement, but a complete and total lack of resistance about it. Like he had seen this coming, like he already had someone in mind. And that thought brought a whole new list of questions, such as how had Ignis missed it? Ignis knew Noct, knew his preference for both the female </span><em><span>and </span></em><span>the male form and for the life of him he couldn’t think of a single person who would fit Noct’s tastes. There hadn’t been any new representatives or dignitaries in the last few months and Noctis hadn’t shown any special interest in anyone as far as Ignis could tell. So who could it be? Ignis hadn’t asked, of course he hadn’t, but that didn’t mean the other members of the Council hadn’t leapt at the news. </span><em><span>Excellent, your majesty, and what is her name? We assume she comes from a noble line? Is she Lucian? </span></em><span>Ten</span> <span>years of darkness had not cleared politicians of their presumptuousness, apparently. But Noctis had taken the questions with surprising grace, stating that he would not give their name as he currently had no knowledge of their feelings on the matter and he did not want them to feel pressured into something they didn’t truly want. Which Ignis thought absolutely ridiculous, thoughtful but ridiculous. Who in their right mind would turn Noct down? And not because he was the Chosen King, but because of who he was. Noct was kind, brave, and fiercely loyal. Yes, he was still a brat first thing in the morning and if left to his own devices would outlaw the consumption of vegetables inside the palace, but in Ignis’s opinion he would make anyone an ideal partner. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>           Of course, Ignis allows, it’s a biased opinion. Ignis has always been biased where Noctis is concerned. But in this, he believes the bias is justified and he just hopes that whoever has been fortunate enough to catch Noctis’s attention will care for and treasure him the way he deserves. Back before—before the Decade of Darkness, before King Regis was killed—Ignis had been willing to give Noctis to Lady Lunafreya. She and Noctis had history, she was a friend, someone he admired, someone he deeply cared about. Someone he could be comfortable with. Someone who was good and strong and would care both for Noctis and the people of Lucis. Although Ignis was never able to meet her in person, such a great pity that, he had always had the sense that Lady Lunafreya loved Noctis. That if the circumstances had been different, if it had been Noctis personally asking her to marry him, that she would have been thrilled with the arrangement. As for Noctis himself...even now Ignis isn’t sure. Noctis had cared for her yes, but had he loved her? Had he wanted to marry her? In the end, Ignis supposes it no longer matters; Lady Lunafreya is long dead and Noctis has found someone of his own choosing to place his attentions on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>         Perhaps Ignis is a bit selfish, but he wonders how the routine he and Noctis have developed will change with this new person added into the equation. Ignis still serves as his king’s chamberlain which means he still is the person responsible for getting Noct out of bed first thing in the morning, Ignis personally prefers to be the one to cook his king’s meals although they have a perfectly competent galley staff, Ignis even tells the maids not to bother with the king’s chambers as he himself will take care of it. Ignis is also the person staying hours into the night, even up into the early morning, in Noct’s chambers; sometimes discussing current legislature or sometimes just being in each other’s company as a guard against the demons who only come in sleep. Surely a partner would want to take at least some of those honors (not duties, never duties) anyway from him? And Ignis, as always, will give them up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because Ignis knows. He has always known. One way or another, he is always going to lose Noctis. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>********</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you’re trying to hide, you probably should have chosen a spot not visible by everyone in the ballroom.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Ignis smiles without turning towards the voice coming up the stairs. “Not hiding as much as escaping Gladio’s drunken slaps on the back. Truly, I’m not sure how much more my bones can take before something snaps.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s just enjoying showing his wife off.” Noctis shrugs as he comes to stand beside Ignis, immediately turning to put his back to the hundreds of people below. “You know how proud he is of everything Holly’s done to make this celebration </span>
  <em>
    <span>the best in Lucian history.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Certainly the loudest and most technologically advanced in Lucian history.” It’s a true testament to the holiday spirit that Ignis doesn’t chide his king for the vision he is presenting, reclined lazily back against the railing of the balcony overlooking the ballroom with his legs stretched out in front of him, ankles casually crossed. If he didn’t know better Ignis would say Noct is posing, but that’s just ridiculous. “But I am sure there is more to it than that. Gladio has been looking especially smug about something for the last week or so but every time I ask he simply brushes me off, telling me to be patient or some such guff.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh...yeah?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely. And Prompto as well. He has been smiling at me, for weeks now.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“This is Prompto you’re talking about.” Noctis points out. “He smiles at everything.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Not like this. Not like the chocobo that got the sylkis greens.” It’s only now that he’s saying it out loud that he fully appreciates how strange his two friends have been acting recently, like they both know something he doesn’t. And that is a feeling Ignis does not like. “I just don’t understand what they are both so excited about.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d tell you not to worry about it but since when has that stopped you?” Noctis acknowledges with characteristic disinterest and uncharacteristic irritation, which serves to remind Ignis that his king will have much more important things on his mind at the moment. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Well enough of that.” Tomorrow, Ignis decides his </span>
  <em>
    <span>patience</span>
  </em>
  <span> will have ended and he will go after his friends in earnest. Gladio is too stubborn to budge but Prompto certainly can be negotiated with.  “What are you doing up here with me? The fireworks will be starting soon and I thought you were intending to use them as a backdrop to speak to your intended?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>A confession right as the fireworks start, a symbol of new beginnings and new love.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Only Gladio could come up with something as saccharine infused as that.  </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I still got time, don’t worry.” Noctis shrugs as he tilts his head back. He does it most likely to adjust for the height difference between them but it also serves to show off the hollow of his throat and causes the light from the chandelier to reflect perfectly in his blue eyes. “Still not going to ask me who it is?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>           No, Ignis does not desire this person’s name. He does not want to know who has captured his king’s attention. He does not wish to think of the person who will take his place at the small four person supper table in his king’s chambers. He does not want to imagine another person staying late in Noct’s bedroom, chasing away the nightmares Ignis has been battling since the marilith attack all those years ago. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>does not</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to ask about the person who will ultimately take Noct away from him. It does not matter how many times he tells himself that you cannot lose what was never yours to begin with. Or that Noctis was always meant for greater things, greater people, than him. That to even entertain the mere thought of holding Noct, kissing him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>loving him</span>
  </em>
  <span> is delusional in the extreme. It does not change the fact that even thinking about this nameless person causes an exquisite feeling of loss that threatens to swallow him whole.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But this isn’t about him. It’s about Noctis, his king, his dearest friend. The person Ignis would be willing to burn the world for. So he asks anyway. “As you wish, Noct. Who—” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Or at least he attempts to before he is interrupted by a large cracking sound from outside. Ignis lifts his head to look out the floor to ceiling windows and sees the remnants of the night’s first firework fizzling out. He turns back to Noctis who hasn’t moved an inch from his reclined posture on the railing and says before he can think too much about it, “Noct, the fireworks. They’ve started.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess they have.” But still he doesn’t move. He only gives Ignis a little smirk that to anyone else would look easy and cocksure but Ignis recognises as nervous. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><span>“Then shouldn’t you be going back down?” And now Ignis is getting nervous. Because the fireworks are still going off and Noctis </span><em><span>still isn’t moving </span></em><span>and</span> <span>he’s just standing there, looking up at Ignis like he’s waiting for something. </span></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I think I’ll stay right here.” And Noctis is still waiting, still staring up at Ignis with his impossible blue eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“But…” For the first time in his life, Ignis fully appreciates the expression about systems and no longer functioning, because the way his mind wants to perceive this situation is quite impossible. It cannot be that the reason Ignis couldn’t think of a new person in Noctis’s life is because that person doesn’t exist. There is no way that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Gladio and Prompto of all people </span>
  </em>
  <span>figured something out before him and have been silently teasing him about it for the past few weeks. It’s impossible to think that Noctis—</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Specs?” Noct has finally moved but only to stand to his full height and place himself directly in Ignis’s personal space. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Noct?” The reply is purely automatic as Ignis is thoroughly distracted by the feeling of Noct taking one of his hands and holding it between both of his own. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re usually so smart but you still don’t get it do you?” He’s still nervous, Ignis can see that in the slight tremble in his hands but more than that Noct looks determined, the entirety of his attention focused solely on Ignis. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps you better explain it to me then.” Ignis breathes as Noct lifts his captured hand to his mouth and places a featherlight kiss on Ignis’s knuckles. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me court you?” Noct’s speaks softly, just loud enough to be heard over the fireworks still going on, but to Ignis it feels like Noct might as well have screamed the question with the way it reverberates through his skull. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Noct, I...you know I...I can’t provide you with an heir. The council will never approve.” It’s not what Ignis truly wants to say but he has spent so long behind the walls of duty and decorum that the words slip out of reflex. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Noct’s responding look is one that is flat enough to press sylleblossom flowers with. “Specs. One of our friends is a clone, created using technology we have all the research for. We know all of the best scientists across Eos, including Holly Amicitia. I’m sure we can come up with </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>in the way of producing an heir.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Well that’s...not wrong, Ignis supposes. “But Noct...are you sure?” As words clearly aren’t getting the point across, his king changes tact. He lets go of Ignis’s hand to reach up and cup his face. Gazing at him only a moment before pulling him down into a soft kiss. It’s a mere brush, nothing more but Ignis feels his whole body tingling with the thrill of it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>As he pulls back, Noct looks up with something close to triumph in his eyes. “Well? Going to ask me if I’m sure again?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t think so. I think I’d rather enjoy the fireworks.” And before Noct has a chance to reply Ignis swoops down to claim a proper kiss, arms around his king’s waist to hold him as close as he possibly can. Noct laughs into the kiss, Ignis can feel it against his lips but that just makes him want to hold on tighter. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought…” Ignis begins slowly, as they finally pull apart. His mind feels warm and thich, like someone has poured honey in it because he is still struggling to come to terms with the fact that this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>real, </span>
  </em>
  <span>that it’s actually happening. “I thought I was going to lose you again.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Noct just smiles. He smiles like Ignis is an idiot, like the thought of it being anyone else is absolutely ridiculous. He smiles like he’s happy. Like...“Not a chance, Iggy. I’m yours and I always will be.”...like he’s in love. “You’ll never lose me again.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>***slides towards home at the last minute of the deadline</p><p>AND...SAFE. </p><p>I hope you enjoyed this little piece of fluff! </p><p>Song lyric was "In His Eyes" in case anyone was curious.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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